Another year has come and gone, seemingly overnight. As I look back on this year, there have been so many changes with our family that I can only imagine the same has happened for you. And this made me stop and contemplate our relationship with time, and share this excerpt from Under a Full Moon and a Guiding Star with you…

“Finding the Being in the Doing…Since the dawn of humankind we have tried to understand the nature of time. Time has a dual nature that in Greek philosophy are known as chronos and kairos. Most of what we acknowledge in our Western world view as time is the chronos side. The clocks, calendars, agendas, schedules, deadlines. Chronos keeps track of every minute and keeps us running the marathon towards some perceived finish line. Kairos, on the other hand, is the infinite, transcendent, reverent and sacred side. In kairos we can let go of the control.

Chronos is where we are when we are in the doing mindset, Chronos is looking for speed and efficiency, where time can seem compressed and slipping through our fingers. It is often described as “spending time.” In our efforts to control time we sometimes lose the gift of presence. Kairos is where we are when we are in the being mindset. Kairos requires space and allows time to expand. We may not recognize it but we experience kairos when we are in flow with our passion and purpose. This is often described as “valuing time.” 

So, how do we work with this duality? It is much like yin and yang, where there is always a bit of one in the other. Once you are aware of the two sides you can then cultivate ways to create more kairos time in your life.

Here are a few suggestions to begin to find the balance between the two:

• Pause – follow the lesson of breathing. Right there you shifted from chronos to kairos.
• Slow down – follow the lesson of creating “white space” in your schedule.
• Focus – on one task at a time, giving it the care and attention it requires.

By making conscious and consistent decisions to be in kairos you will find that your mind, body, and spirit will prefer to be there more often. Being will come all in good time.”

(*the “lessons” referred to can be found in Part 3 of Under a Full Moon and a Guiding Star)

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Navigating the Holidays

For some, the holidays can be a joyful time when spirits are lighter. It feels good to care for loved ones and enjoy time together, celebrating family traditions. But for many others the holidays can bring added stress where an already busy person finds there’s even more to do and you find yourself saying, “Something’s gotta give!”

Here are a few tips to help you make it through the holiday season with more joy and less stress:

Simplify 

Remember – it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If you can’t put out all of your decorations, choose a few items that are most significant and enlist the help of family and friends to help decorate. If going to all religious services feels like too much, choose one service that means the most. If sending greeting cards is too time-consuming, try sending e-greetings. 

Traditions

Instead of focusing on traditions you and/or your loved ones aren’t able to do this year, try doing something new. Take a drive through a holiday light display or watch a holiday concert on TV. If you can’t make it to a holiday gathering, have a video chat. Start a home holiday movie night tradition (my favorites are Miracle on 34th Street, White Christmas, and It’s a Wonderful Life), with popcorn and apple cider or cookies and hot chocolate.

Mealtime

Food is a big part of many holidays, so it’s especially difficult to think about changing mealtime traditions. But meals also require a lot of time, money and coordination. Holiday baking and meals can be so exhausting, but rather than canceling holiday meals entirely, try making a few adjustments like these:

• Simplify the menu. Try fewer side dishes or one dessert instead of three.
• Split up the grocery shopping and cooking among other family members and guests. There’s nothing wrong with a potluck.
• Pay someone to cook meals at your house ahead of time or on the holiday.
• Purchase all or part of meals at a local grocery store or restaurant — either fully cooked or ready for you to cook at home.
• Eat at someone else’s home, or at a restaurant.

Memories and Meaning

As much as we’d like to create the perfect holiday experience, remember that perfection is not the goal of the holidays — meaning and joy are. There are many factors we can’t control so sometimes we must adjust our view of what a successful holiday will look like. Focus on what feels really necessary to produce a joyful holiday feeling and create good memories.

Gift Giving 

Gift-giving is a part of many traditions, but it can be costly and time-consuming. You might ask a friend or relative to help do your shopping and wrapping. Try shopping online (many online stores will also gift-wrap), or you can always fall back on gift cards. You may be feeling financially stressed, so it might be necessary to lower your gift-giving budget this year and scale back the number of presents. Try giving the gift of time instead, like scheduling outings or helping with a project. If your family is large, draw names and exchange with just one person. 

Mindset

Try to stay mindful, concentrate on the present moment. Think about what you can accomplish instead of what isn’t getting done; celebrate what your loved ones can do, revel in the holiday joys you experience instead of focusing on those you bypass. Negative thinking actually activates your body’s stress response, so steer your mind to the positives when you start down that slippery slope.

Self Care

All year long we give and give, and during the holidays we give even more. All that giving can leave you running on empty, with high stress levels or even full-on burnout. Be aware of the emotional ups and downs, fatigue, foggy thinking, inability to sit still or the opposite and feeling frozen and unable to get anything done. Pay attention to these red flags because when we’re busy it’s easy to let self-care slip, just when we need it most. 

• Pause and do a breathing exercise.

• Get plenty of sleep. 

• Stay hydrated. 

• Walk with loved ones in a decorated shopping mall, dance to holiday music, or stretch while watching holiday movies. 
• Enjoy holiday goodies, but be aware that too much sugar  can make your energy crash later. 
• Get outside for some mood-elevating vitamin D from sunlight. 
• Relax with some holiday-scented aromatherapy to soothe and boost your mood.

Anticipate 

Are there holiday activities or toxic relatives that trigger stress or unhappy memories? Perhaps feelings of grief or loss overcome you at certain times of day. Maybe old family issues inevitably flare up at gatherings. It may be best to limit your exposure to — or even avoid — certain places, events, conversations or people. If you can’t do that, prepare yourself and don’t try to resolve problems over the holidays. Instead, try short encounters and plan quick exit strategies. 

Remember, you’ll be happier if you can go with the flow and expect that there will be some delays, a crisis or two and maybe some disappointments. The bottom line is that this time is precious. Savor the moments with your loved ones and make good memories you can cherish forever. 

Here’s a few of my Alaka’i resources for helping create those healthy habits of self care

https://alakaiassociates.com/resources/

https://alakaiassociates.com/book/

https://alakaiassociates.com/wellness-products/

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THE ALAKA’I BOOKSHELF

These four are part of the foundation of Alaka’i Associates. I return to them time and time again. 

What books have inspired you lately?

And don’t forget to add Under a Full Moon and a Guiding Star to your bookshelf.

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YOUR HEALTH MATTERS

The Power of Sleep

Sleep is the secret for a healthy you. Sleeping is your body’s way to hit the reset button while you rest. Prioritize sleep to stay on top of your healthy habits and your wellness goals.  When you set your routine to make sure you get enough ZZZ’s, your brain and your body will thank you. 

Here’s how we can sleep better….

https://lanialmanza.lifevantage.com/us-en/blog/the-power-of-sleep

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Subscribers ONLY

Your Holiday Gift – Another 3 lucky winners will receive the Subscriber Giveaway which includes a self care kit to help you on your wellness journey! In addition, any current subscriber who refers a new subscriber will receive an additional gift!

You can also contact me to schedule a free one-on-one Discovery Call to make a plan for your wellness.

#LiveAlohaLiveWell